Boston

I headed up for two days to Boston to cheer on my sister during the marathon. We went to a Red Sox game on Sunday which was pretty fun (considering I don't really like bball but I mean you have to go to Fenway once right!)

Marathon Monday was mostly awesome. I got up early and ran maybe 5.5 miles around the course down to the finish line and really felt energized. Ethan, Amelia and I took the T out to about mile 16.5 and watched the elite runners run through and then the countless other runners before seeing K and she was looking good!

We then took the T back down towards the finish and watched her run by us around mile 25.3 maybe and then headed to the finish area to meet up with her. By the time we met up with her it was maybe 2:30 and we  hugged and chatted and waited for my dad and Evelyn to meet us there too. She ran an amazing race and PR'd by about 5 min. The city and race itself was just so amazing. So much energy and positivity and lots of people just cheering and supporting one another.  We had just all met up when the explosions went off. We were probably about 3 blocks diagonally from the finish but a semi-clear view in that we saw the smoke after the explosion. Then we heard the second one and the police in our area started running towards the finish line.  We all knew basically what it was and just started walking away from downtown along with countless other people.  We walked around for awhile figuring out what to do, saw tv's on in places and saw what had happened.  Eventually we made it back to the hotel and had some time to watch what was going on on the news.

I've had a lot of things run through my mind since then. Some about how selfish I feel about that day, that I didn't help. We were a couple blocks away and I didn't go help. Or what about the countless runners that didn't finish, I didn't help them either. I could have provided my phone for people to use, some food, money to get subway fare out of the city if they needed it. But I didn't. I didn't do anything. I know I was scared at the time, I called EZ right when it happened to tell him before it even came on the news just to say we were all alright right then. I cried when we actually heard it was two bombs at the finish line and saw the news on a TV on the street. I hugged my sister and cried telling her how thankful I was that she had finished.

Other emotions I just can't describe, because I didn't actually run the race. The city and support was amazing. Before the explosions, I felt so alive and energized, I have talked about trying to run Boston but in that morning, I really felt like I could actually do it and qualify. But I know I don't have any of the emotions that the runners actually have, those that finished and those that did not. Nor do I know what it was like to be actually right in those few blocks on the finish line where the explosions happened. I can only keep praying for all of those affected. Praying for all those that are still in the hospital, praying for some sort of closure or peace for runners who ran Boston whether they finished or not, praying for all of humanity that people continue to find the good, that people continue to want to do good too.

What I know is that I have gone out on numerous runs since then. Each one has been emotional and in different ways. I have felt the need to run hard and run hills and hurt. I have felt the need to run peacefully and quiet my mind and heart and just breath. My sister is an amazing person, she ran an amazing race and PR'd and I hope that she (and others who ran) find some joy in that, and remember the good. All those that cheered along the way, the countless volunteers, the police and medics, the entire city of Boston. And I was so thankful to be there to see her and cheer for her and be part of her journey. I was also so thankful that we were all together after the race at that time. As for me, I will continue to run, continue to push myself, continue to be thankful for everyday, and I will one day run Boston-for my mom, for my sister, for myself, for the 3 people that left this world on that day at the finish line, and for all those affected by that day.